Procrastination 101: The Speed At Which Your Blog Loads Is Critical To Attracting More Readers To Your Blog and The Case For Banksy For President

Hi,

So far today I have procrastinated writing in the following ways:

1. Spent 16 minutes thoroughly investigating the ways I can get stuff for free by using my Amex Delta SkyMiles credit card.

1a. Being disappointed that I can't just cancel my netflix account and start a new in order to get 1,500 Delta SkyMiles.

1b. Being further disappointed in the knowledge that the extra 1,500 miles would have given me just enough miles to buy a ticket anywhere in the continental US.

2. Spent roughly 5 minutes staring off into space on the sidewalk of Metropolitan Ave.

2a. Being disappointed in myself for not quitting smoking.

3. Spent 3 minutes wondering if I should get a hair cut this week.

4. Spent 6 minutes reading an article about how other people procrastinate in their work.

4a. Being amused by a video my old friend Marshall sent me.

5. Spent 1 minute thanking God that I'm not the kind of person that gets tricked into clicking on links that don't go anywhere.

5a. Being amused that you are.

6. Spent 7 seconds wondering why Tony Hawk spends so much time telling other people what he's doing with his time.

7. Spent 7 minutes reading about various ways I can make this page load faster.

7a. Being proud that because of my superior instincts, I was already doing all of them.

8. Spent negative 8 seconds wondering if you're going to come to my gig at Banjo Jim's on May 18th at 11:30.

8a. The one where I'll be playing songs no one has ever heard.

8b. The one where Steely Dan is gonna be my band.

9. Currently spending however many seconds it takes me to type this sentence wondering if I really shouldn't just go outside and enjoy the sunshi...