You can officially welcome me back from yet another undeserved vacation. Thanks. I really needed some time to rest. And let me tell you, the Himalayas, which of course actually says "adobe of snow" in Sanskirt but for some reason languages don't translate proper nouns or something, are really wonderful this time of year. But let me also tell you that not only is it totally illegal but it is also perfectly terrifying to go hang-gliding off of K2. So, please don't tell anyone I did that cuz I totally didn't have a permit or even a Sanskirt speaking guide. Luckily for me I've been told once or twice that I have a resemblance to Daniel Craig and/or Clive Owen and/or a cross between the two. Since they are both such freaking studs, I prefer to think I'm more a cross between the two even though I haven't gotten that kind of compliment lately on account of the fact that I need a haircut a lot worse than Misty Boyce/Casey Shea/Nick Africano's drummer did yesterday. Who knew there was someone within my sphere who spends more time admiring himself in the mirror than I do? I guess I do, now. Anyway, since I apparently look like a couple of guys who have been know to get out of lots of sticky situations and not get arrested in the process, I was able to hang-glide off of K2 and in that process I was fairly awed by the arial view of the Brahmaputra River. You just have to try it sometime. Maybe you'll even be so inspired that you'll take to one of the many and varied new economy forms of self-publishing available to people who couldn't get published if their Mom's cat Buttons' life depended on it and tell everyone how inspired the trip made you and the expound on a bunch of other stuff that may or may not be true. Thank god for portable communication and potable water.
Anyway, before we get back to me writing about me and how I feel about things everyday, I would be remiss not to tell to tell you that I've updated my gig listing. I did that yesterday when I was paralyzed with fear and insecurity about easing myself back into the world of productivity.
(Editor's Note: The following may or may not be influenced by the fact that I cannot pronounce Plouffe.)
In today's installment of "Why Does The White House Have So Much Time On Their Hands That They Are Able To Personally Address Five Emails A Day To Me?" ...
Clearly the good people at the White House must have better things to do than personally address emails right? I mean, I know I'm a pretty important guy to you and other people that like me, but let's get one thing straight: I didn't vote for The Big O. because I was suffering from a diminished spam supply anymore than because I was hoping to sit around the dinner table last night talking to other people that voted for Barry and like me, are wondering just when in the hell he's gonna start saying things like: "Listen, there are some bad people in the world. All they wanna do is make money and take vacations to the Himalayas and hire prostitutes that aren't even that hot. They don't care about you, even though a lot of these people are people that you voted to represent your best interests in something called "Congress" where you pay them something around $200k per year, give them government health care, which is totally awesome by the way, so they can basically sit around all year saying things like "Only people that look and act like me can have access to things that other people's kids fight wars over." Oh and by the way, all of our energy and pollution problems are due to overpopulation and the afore-mentioned greed and there ain't a damn thing that recycling or cork-board flooring or the Chevy Volt is gonna change about that. Sorry. You're just gonna have to start telling your horn-dog kids to start wear condoms. Or we can just not do anything. Whatever man. I'm freakin' rich as all get out and so are my kids so it's fine with me. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go personally address address an email to Matt Basile. Oh and P.S. To the preacher dude that thinks it's a good idea to start burning Qurans ... You sir, are an asshole. All right, now don't let anyone say Bloomy is the only guy tellin' it like it is around here."
Anyway, like I was saying, I just got another email from this guy David Plouffe wherein he is reminding me that Labor Day just passed ad that there are only 56 days until the democrats officially squander their majority rule in Congress because Ben Nelson is a Satan worshiper (Ed. Note: Citation Unavailable at Press Time) and saying things like: "I've been out of a job for the last 19 months and I'm having a real hard time keeping myself positive and could you please lend me $2 for a bus ticket back home to see my kid before she goes back to boarding school." Or something. You can try to decode the communist plot for yourself.
By the way, I'm pretty sure I found a venue daring enough to host The Old Fashioned Ladiezzzzzzzzzzz...
Huh? Whaaaa? Yeah. Me too. Although it's kind of a bummer we'll have to change the coolest website this guy ever made. Yeah. Totally.
Before I forget, this guy wants to say Happy Birthday to Chrissie Hynde!
And speaking of the cycle of life, while the following video was not the cause of Keith Moom's death on this day in 1978, it may provide a clue.
Mwah!
M
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