Today I am writing to you from one of those Manhattan coffee shops, complete with a variety of faux looking, but probably actually real, leather chairs that make you think of the Pottery Barn catalog you were reading the last time you took a crap at your Aunt Lucy's summer house on Crystal Lake. The best part about this place is the people having really loud business meetings. For instance, right next to me is a some kind of a hot shot lecturer guy who's got some woman trying to explain to him how a YoutTube channel works. He seems pretty important. The woman has been instructed to "CC ..." him "...on all emails with these German people about the YouTubing." Next they're probably gonna start some really kinda boring conversation about his upcoming spot on Ted.com.
Anyway, you're probably wonder what I think Noel Gallagher thinks when he finishes peeing his pants after hearing lyrics like ... "Aaaahhhhhh, it's gonna be tough. The battle's on and your soul is the prize" ... from his little brother's "new" band's new album. I guess I think he probably wets himself from laughter, says something to the effect of "Hey Liam, have fun being the opening band!" and then goes off to ride the pony while staring at all the platinum albums he wrote.
Thanks to ________ for sending me a digital representation of the album he stole for free. If you'd like me to make fun of your album while secretly wishing more people made fun of albums I played on, you can send me links to unauthorized distribution networks here: imabsile@gmail.com.
In related new, congratulations to Mr. Spielberg and everyone who worked on E.T.
In unrelated news, not only does this guy look like an ass#ole ... shockingly, he actually is.
Finally, I gotta get outta here before I start shopping at Christian Dior.
Mwah!
M
P.S. On this day in 1977, Bob Dylan was served divorce papers.
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