The girls sitting next to me are talking about how they "think it's really healthy" that they don't really confide in each other so much anymore since they both have boyfriends. Now they're saying things like "I hate growing up."
Anyway, I can't remember what I did so far today. Most likely it involved drooling and or a round or two of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2. I got over 100,000 points once, but I forgot to save that session. Now every time I turn the game on it says that my highest score is only 96,372. It's pretty annoying. I'd rather it said the 111,234 points that I got the other day but forgot to save.
Since you apparently have nothing better to do with your time, how about we play a little bit of "next blog" ...
Today's installment of "next blog" finds us in the fantastical world of Victoria. This self described artist and mom is also a big believer in fairy tales. Apparently, she is also a fairy tale maker. And she thinks there's nothing in this great fairy tale of world quite like a home grown breakfast followed by a mother's hug. Next time I go "next blog"-ing, remind me to wear a bib to catch all of the puke I keep puking on the only button down shirt I was able to save from when my apartment burnt down last week. Oh, I meant the week before last. My sense is that the statute of limitations for being felt sorry for is about to run out. I must say, it was pretty fun while it lasted. I hated that awesome turn table I used to own anyway.
Hang on. Someone is sending me a text message.
Okay. I'm back. And I just got an email. Apparently, my ship has come in! This guy named kenny-huynh@sbcglobal.net has written to tell me that: "1,000,000.00 GBP has been awarded to your email ID by British Tobacco Promo"
And all I have to do to get the money is: "Send details for claims Purpose"
NAME..
OCCUPATION..
COUNTRY..
You think I should include my mailing address too? Maybe he'll just send me the money via paypal once he knows what country I live in? Anyway, I bet you wish you were me and opened your email inbox to find that your ship had finally come in huh?
In related news, it seems that the rumors are true. Dwayne Wade, alpha dog of the team that everyone is super excited to see Lebron James play on next year, is a terrorist.
In unrelated news. The greatest basketball player in the history of people who make my mom say things like "See, he seems like a nice black man..." thinks that Kobe Bryant is also a nice black man, and agrees that I am definitely taller than Derek Fisher.
Anyway, since you asked, I finally culled through the more than 328 resumes and cover letters submitted for The Old Fashioned Ladies Club regarding a job posting that I never even posted. Written in what appears to be Martian, here is the most creative of the cover letters:
Since the resume above was obviously from a proud graduate of SVA's "MFA Designer As Author" degree, I've decided to "hire" the following intern. Don't tell him that his brother is giving us money to pay him though. It's important that he feel like he's actually getting some kind of reward for actually attempting to apply himself. Anyway, here is his resume. I'm sure you'll agree that he is worthy of such an arrangement:
And speaking of Eurythmics, The Olsen Twins and Human Punching Bags ... you shouldn't need me to tell you that The Old Fashioned Ladies Club debuts at on Wednesday, August 18th. And as soon as _________ gets off his butt and starts reading HTML For Dummies, we'll have a website that does more than just win an award for minimalism but also gives you some information about what it is we'll be doing. For now, enjoy my award winning adventure into the world of verbosity.
Oh crap, I gotta go. I have a date with the sun in Union Square.
Mwah!
M
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