Today I'd like to offer you a selection of recent of something I like to call: "Recent Observations and The Things I have Learned From Said Observations."
Observation Number 1: Known increases in the instances of "eyes and smiles" I receive is directly proportional to the wearing of one of my fashionable vintage ties.
My takeaway from this observation really only needs to be read men: Guys, apparently it really does make you more attractive if you're dressed like you are actually expected by someone to be somewhere at some point during a given day. However, it's not cool to be dressed as though you act like a complete a$@#ole when you get there.
Observation Number 2: The other day I was riding the D Train around whatever time it is that public school's out for the day and almost had my awesome game of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 interrupted by, you guessed it, a bunch of kids. Illegally leaning against the subway doors, I kept my head down. I was going for 200,000 points on a single trick combination. Not easy. And I got them. 213,578 to be exact. As you can imagine, it was pretty tough on account of all these kids basically yelling at the top of their little kid lungs about God only knows what. Anyway, you can imagine how self satisfied I was about accomplishing my big goal for the day and felt that I deserved to take a load off. So, I sat down. The eleven year olds were still screaming. Well, most of them. No, actually I'd say it was roughly half of them. You see, literally all of the laughing, impolite name calling, punching and cavorting were something commonly referred to as : "Boys". The twenty or so girls basically just sat there and watched them. I thought this was pretty interesting. So when I got home, I brought this all up by basically saying all of the stuff you just read to a pretty smart young woman I know. She said: "Yeah, I've been to a public school before."
My takeaway from this observation is something I like to call: "Confusion".
Observation Number 3: In my neighborhood, all of the young men I've seen engaged with the NYPD in something called the "Stop And Frisk" program are decidedly not caucasian. Wait, should caucasian be capitalized? Caucasian. Well, yeah, I know it gets capitalized there dummy. Jeez. I meant in the middle of the sentence.
My takeaway from this observation is that if you live in The United States, you probably won't ever get "stopped" and "frisked" in the middled or a rain storm if you managed to get something called: "Born White".
Observation Number 4: My breakfast is better than yours.
My takeaway from this observation is that I am _____________.
Mwah!
M
P.S. Tomorrow night I'll be playing with Kris Gruen at The Living Room.
P.P.S. Look it up.
P.P.P.S. The night after tomorrow night I'll be playing with Casey Shea band at someplace called Madison Square Garden.
P.P.P.P.S. Don't look that up.
P.P.P.P.P.S. Just go to the Will Call window at MSG on Friday night and tell them that Wes Verhoeve of Family Records left you a pair of tickets for something called: "Tonight's Show".
No comments:
Post a Comment