Thursday, March 25, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Arbitration 101: Joe Biden
Hi,
Stop crying. I just don't have time to write today. I do however really wish I wrote this gem:
Mwah!
M
P.S. Do this.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Social Studies 101: Civilized Retrograde and The Case For Keeping Your Foot In Your Mouth
Hi,
Even though I forgot to take a picture of it, you should be relieved to know that I had a very nice breakfast today. This time I dined at a lovely Polish restaurant over on Bedford Ave. Two eggs over medium(ish) with potato and sausage and rye bread. It was almost as good as the fillet ala fungi and asparagus that Nicholas Webber cooked for me last night. I think he really enjoyed watching me eat and knowing that he played a role in my ever improving good looks. There was also some rice that took a long time to cook. And lots of butter. He was afraid, but I promised him that you can never have too much butter unless you're already overweight which neither of us are because we both move around a lot throughout the day.
And speaking of moving around a lot. Someone told me I should watch this and I did and since I liked it so much I'm gonna tell you that you should watch this. Hey, you should totally watch this ... And no, I don't think they sped up the film in parts at all but I couldn't really find out for sure :
These people also did some stuff with David Bowie back in the late 80's when he played a Steinberger Guitar. In case you were too busy trying to learn how to walk in 1988, those guitars look like this and a lot of people thought they were pretty awesome at the time and I bet there's a pretty ironic band with a guy playing one today in a Silver Lake venue near you.:
In related news about things that nobody really cares about, you're about be really thankful to me for telling you that today is apparently the day that we (and by we I mean the people that our tax dollars allow to make and average of just under $200k per year serving in Congress) are gonna vote on something that as described by The Big O.: “We have been debating health care for decades. It has now been debated for a year. It is in your hands ..." to "... parse through the meaning of those last couple of sentences." But since you apparently don't care about anything other than pestering me about the last time we were supposed to meet for pumpkin spiced lattes down on the High Line, I'm not even gonna tell you what the big news is all about.
And speaking of people who do weird stuff in public. This week was a good one for both the end and the resurgence of manifest destiny. Enter Tom Cruise. Responding to yesterday's news of security lapses in Wal-Mart stores around the greater republic of Texas, Mr. Cruise took matters into his own hands in a show of brotherly love and excitement over the best basketball teams in the history of who really cares what team Shaq plays for anyway basketball teams:
You can read more about Tom and the seventh question on the Scientology Personality Questionnaire, "Have you ever tried to give sanity a bad name?", by clicking the link below this sentence.
In today's installment of "What's Your uncle Doing In Washington DC This Weekend" I'd like to quote the beginning of an article that nobody really cares about and then provide you with a link to the full article underneath the quote. And since the part that I am quoting has a lot of quotes in it, I thought it would be a cleaner editorial choice to just make my quote of the beginning of the article with a lot of quotes in it italicized so as to minimize confusion. You can thank me later but don't be disappointed if I don't think your fillet is as good as Nick Webber's who is incidentally playing tonight at The Living Room, where I will be trying to sty awake so that I can turn the lights off in between songs.
Abusive, derogatory and even racist behavior directed at House Democrats by Tea Party protesters on Saturday left several lawmakers in shock.
Preceding the president's speech to a gathering of House Democrats, thousands of protesters descended around the Capitol to protest the passage of health care reform. The gathering quickly turned into abusive heckling, as members of Congress passing through Longworth House office building were subjected to epithets and even mild physical abuse.
A staffer for Rep. James Clyburn (D-S.C.) told reporters that Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.) had been spat on by a protestor. Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.), a hero of the civil rights movement, was called a 'ni--er.' And Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) was called a "faggot," as protestors shouted at him with deliberately lisp-y screams. Frank, approached in the halls after the president's speech, shrugged off the incident.
But Clyburn was downright incredulous, saying he had not witnessed such treatment since he was leading civil rights protests in South Carolina in the 1960s.
"It was absolutely shocking to me," Clyburn said, in response to a question from the Huffington Post. "Last Monday, this past Monday, I stayed home to meet on the campus of Claflin University where fifty years ago as of last Monday... I led the first demonstrations in South Carolina, the sit ins... And quite frankly I heard some things today I have not heard since that day. I heard people saying things that I have not heard since March 15, 1960 when I was marching to try and get off the back of the bus."
In related news, today's installment of "Next Blog" shows us an exciting behind the scenes look at ... The Martins. The Martins, as if you needed me to tell you, are nothing if not big fans of Escape Club. In case you were too busy trying to learn how to explain the hardest part about rollerblading to your dad back in 1988, here's what you were missing that is just one component of The Martins' happiness:
If you're like me, you not only know that The Martins are gearing up for their very first family vacation and you probably don't really like Utah Jazz. But if you're Mrs. Martin, you not only like the Utah Jazz but you also know that a good basketball game is the surest way to your man's heart whilst being totally annoyed that he's spending half the game staring cross-eyed at the cheerleaders. Anyway, here another example of why basketball is the best sport in the world, again using the creative italicization in lieu of actual quotes to make a quote editorial technique:
For kendalls bday I was able to get 5 tickets to the Jazz game because I have the most awesomest boss ever! We got to take my bro Jake and kendalls parents! We had a blast. Stopped at olive garden on the way and then the Jazz killed the Rockets in 3 point shooters all night! It was the bomb! I love being able to go do things like that for Kendall. I love that man! Granted he has his faults but hey he puts up with ME! Enough said there! I would post more but every time I do pictures I have a hard time getting words inbetween the pictures and getting the layout to work. So goodbye for now!
Wow. Life sure is good for people in Utah.
Mwah!
M
P.S. dsfh;dsurjlsgnkjlghsd;fjklghs;duifhg;sdhfgr;lsjrdhgiudhrtgioudhrtlgjhsdf;uh
P.P.S. gsruha;fek;hgulrebsf?whenareyoucominghome?gljhe;gjhsf;ghs;fgirjsg;dfjsg;jfjzhjdlkshdflgn
P.P.P.S. vlzribsvlred,fbasdfjhbsdkjhfbsdmnfgdfbgfsdbgjksbdflghjksdfbklvjsfdlkjsfdjbvsldjkfhalkjdkdjfgs
P.P.P.P.S. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Recreation 101: The Donate Button Direct Marketing You Are So Important We Have Auto-Filled Your Name
Hi,
Assuming you too noticed that the sun came out this week, you probably don't miss me either. Of course I'd probably feel a little better knowing that you were actually sitting inside, pining for one more chance at counting all my new grey hairs while sharing a fresh tomato in bed (with just a little black pepper, mmmmm) while watching Sissy Spacek completely own the music of Loretta Lynn in the movie version of the autobiography "Coal Miner's Daughter", but since that's never gonna happen it's not gonna do either of us any good to sit around wondering about whether or not I think you've gotten fat off of too much comfort food this winter or whether or not I'll be able to find a way to say pretty much anything without it being turned around and made into a whole big thing so that I feel like I need to take a vacation. Otherwise things are good and I don't really feel like my head will explode anymore if i don't get on a plane to a beach in Mexico right away because it's so darned cold outside. I now have totally different reasons for thinking that m head will explode if I don't get on a plane to a beach in Mexico right away.
Anyway, speaking of how important I am, today, or some other day this week, I got a letter from the President! Well, actually it was an email. But it said the sender was Barack Obama. He's the half white President right? Some people call him The Big O. But no one cares about them. Anyway, he sent me a really nice personal note. It starts like this:
"Matthew --
I wanted to take a moment to thank you directly for the outstanding work you've been doing as part of Organizing for America's Final March for Reform. I can tell you that your voice is heard in Washington every day. I see how your efforts are moving us toward victory ..."
And then there's a bunch of stuff in the middle where he talks about wanting to give away all of our nuclear weapons to the Czechoslovakia because they have such a difficult name to spell.
And then it ends like this:
"There's very little time left, and still much to do. But I believe to my core in the power of Americans to change history when we put our mind to it. And if you'll stay with us in these final days, I know we can do it again:
http://my.barackobama.com/speakout
Thank you for making it possible,
President Barack Obama"
And I thought, wow, that was really nice of the POTUS to personally write me a personal email that actually ends with a little box that seems to indicate that The Big O. isn't gonna run for president again because he knows the proverbial poop is gonna hit the fan on account of the fact that he couldn't help but laugh a little when he heard the story of the 16 year old boy in Texas who commandeered the local Wal-Mart intercom system in order to make a special announcement about health care reform:
"Paid for by Organizing for America, a project of the Democratic National Committee -- 430 South Capitol Street SE, Washington, D.C. 20003. This communication is not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee."
In other news, there is a great commercial for the Catholic Church directly following this important declaration of contrition from Verizon Wireless:
Finally, before I don't apologize for such a crap entry and go absorb some vitamin D, I thought you might like to know that Facebook is more popular than God.
Mwah!
M
Monday, March 15, 2010
Allocation 101: Chicken Sausage, The Final Link
Hi,
This morning I woke up thinking about the closing scene from The Breakfast Club where everyone goes home to the tune of "Don't You Forget About Me." Not surprisingly, thinking about that reminded me about how good I am at making breakfast. You know how everyone kinda has one thing they're really good at that will never make them money? My thing is breakfast. It usually looks kinda like this fancy action shot of "The Coffee Pour", unless it's for two but that doesn't really happen so much anymore:
And in unrelated news about this being an anniversary I am glad I didn't forget but would rather not have to not forget I was pretty relieved to read the following two articles that reminded me that my life is really normal and easy and I can't wait to go outside because it's not raining anymore:
But before I go, I thought I might tell you that if you're an undocumented immigrant here in Brooklyn and you make some or all of your living selling Herbalife, the census bureau is onto you. Assuming you give a crap, you can listen to what I just did by clicking here: http://www.wnyc.org/shows/bl/episodes/2010/03/15/segments/151654
Mwah!
M
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Minimalism 101: Pi Day and The Origins Of The Phrase Peter Gabriel Is A Wiener
Hi,
I'll give you just over $3.14 if you can prove that not only did you know today was Pi Day but that you also knew why. Of course now that I think about it I, I guess if you knew one or the other, you would have to be a real wiener not to know the other.
If I find out that you're lying, I'll tell your mom right after I give you a wicked charlie-horse.
In unrelated news, you may also be interested to know that you can make a pretty good pie out of rhubarb:
In the interests of full disclosure, when I was a kid, my dad grew rhubarb in our garden in Somers, CT. We used to eat it straight out of the ground as a snack in between him teaching me how to hold back my tears no matter much my feelings were hurt and instilling various methods for avoiding truly intimate relationships.
Also, speaking of wieners, I would like to go on record as having a new found respect for David Bowie for declining to be involved in Peter Gabriel's latest album, a work of self indulgent cover versions of some pretty fantastic songs where in an interview I might have just heard him say that he was genuinely surprised to have learned that "Boy In The Bubble" was really still a cool song even after you stripped away "all the African bits." Just in case you weren't alive in the 1980's and didn't have to ingurgitate Graceland in order to graduate from middle school, or for some reason hate short jewish men who exploit Africa for "all the African bits" as well as a certain "American Chicano rock band", I am please to provide you with this truly fantastic video, clearly wittingly John Cage inspired and someone Mr. Waaaaaaabriel could maybe think about taking a few hints from:
Here's another video. This one features John Cage talking about what Peter Gabriel should be doing:
Here's another video. This is probably the best interpretation I've yet heard of John Cage's most famous composition, at once getting to the heart of the piece and elucidating the subtle intricacies that make it so unique. Oh, right, those are the same thing. Never mind. Anyway, you're not that smart either so shut up about it already would yah?
Here's another thing I found when I couldn't fall asleep last night:
And here's another "high quality video clip" that I might need to "enjoy" right before I fall asleep tonight too:
In today's installment of "Next Blog" ...
The first one I got to was dumb. So I clicked "Next Blog" on the dumb blog and I got here:
In case you're in a rush, the gist of today's contribution to the "Faith Writers (The Home for Christian writers!)" lexicon by Travis Miller was eloquently summed up in the sentence before his penultimate one wherein he provides a glimpse into a truly "divine nature that we cannot even begin to grasp within our frame of mind.": Jesus is the one that is big enough to hand the larger scale things."
Finally, in response to The Big O's latest dim-witted effort to help control costs and improve performance pertaining to issues that by and large have the biggest effect on long term economic stability and overall productivity for the greatest country in the history of countries that have "lost ground" to other nations to the point where we now fear that "the nation that out-educates us today will out-compete us tomorrow ..." former Playgirl centerfold cum Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown said: "... an entire year has gone to waste. Millions of Americans have lost their jobs, and many more jobs are in danger. Even now, the president still hasn't gotten the message. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go work on my abs."
And another thing ... here's an example of me playing 8th notes on the root of each chord just like i'll be doing on Tuesday March 30th during Misty Boyce's Album Release show at Mercury Lounge right here in the still rainy and cold NYC:
And one last thing if you don't mind. Assuming you too ever wondered how awesome the Red hot Chili Peppers would be if John Frusciante was also the singer, you should watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxPzZOcObus&feature=related
Assuming you like Anthony Kiedis as a singer because he has the same haircut as me ... you should get a different barber.
Mwah!
M
P.S. Sometimes I can't tell if my neighbors children are praying or whining after getting the crap beaten out of them.
P.P.S. If you still need something like you need a hole in your head ...
P.P.P.S. You should click on the following link ...
P.P.P.P.P.S. You're welcome.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. As always, you can say thank you (and help me pay my rent) by purchasing the latest release from Justin, "My World 2.o" via the convenient link to amazon.com located in the right hand margin of this page.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. You can thank me for that listening experience later ...
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Hint: For help finding a suitable restaurant experience to impress me with your indebtedness ...
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Any of the $$$$$ establishments will do ...
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. And yes, I'm happy to travel to your neighborhood.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Mathematics 101: Caloric Intake and The History Of Being Brave
Hi,
Have you ever eaten chicken sausage? What does a chicken that produces sausage look like exactly? Maybe I don't know what sausage really is. You know how sometimes something has a name and is associated with another thing and makes you think that the two things are intrinsically related but in reality the two things could be separated and associated with some other things and it wouldn't matter to anyone? I'm gonna look up sausage. Hang on, I'll be right back. In the meantime, since I don't cook breakfast for us anymore, I figured it might be nice to show you one more example of the many exciting about my life that you missed out on this morning:
Anyway, it seems that sausage is not a food unique to pork after all but instead a way to take all the parts of pretty much any animal that no one would normally want to eat unless you were starving because you got lost on vacation and ended up on an abandoned ski slope and your only other food option was to carve out a healthy piece of your soon to be insignificant other's buttocks. Just as I suspected. But I never had it made from chicken before so I didn't really know. And if you're like me and spent your after school afternoons at your friend _______'s house because his mom would let you eat anything you wanted while watching G.I. Joe, you know that "knowing is half the battle". The other half, I presume involves blowing m@ther f#@kers away with various hi-tech weaponry.
And speaking of definitions. Today I'd like to look up the word "proud". And since I pretty much get to do whatever I want because I am a full grown man with grey hairs and everything, I'm gonna do that right now...
Also just as I suspected, there are a lot of ways to use the word "proud" as an adjective:
1. feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something regarded as highly honorable or creditable to oneself (often fol. by of, an infinitive, or a clause).
2. having, proceeding from, or showing a high opinion of one's own dignity, importance, or superiority.
3. having or showing self-respect or self-esteem.
4. highly gratifying to the feelings or self-esteem: It was a proud day for him when his son entered college.
5. highly honorable or creditable: a proud achievement.
6. stately, majestic, or magnificent: proud cities.
7. of lofty dignity or distinction: a proud name; proud nobles.
8. Chiefly South Midland and Southern U.S. pleased; happy: I'm proud to meet you.
9. full of vigor and spirit: a proud young stallion.
10. (Obsolete.) brave.
For some reason I always assumed that the real definition of "proud" would have stopped at the first half of the first entry. But like so many things in life, I guess I didn't really think it through all the way to the part where being "proud" can simply relate to something "creditable" to one's self and doesn't really have to be "highly honorable" at all. All of this, as if you needed clarification, serves as a segue into today's installment of "I Am Proud Of Something That I Felt Like We Had To Do Even Though It's All Part Of A Greater Issue I Really Wish We As A People Didn't Have To Deal With At All Even Though Being Proud Of Ordering Something Like The Torturing Of Other People Is Usually Reserved For Psychopaths Or People That Countries Like The USA Defend The Rest Of The World From - or - Paraphrasing And The Words I Just Used To Paraphrase A Recent Interview With Karl Rove" ...
Of course, if we assume he's not lying I'd like to go on record and say that I'm really glad Jimmy Carter wasn't the POTUS for the last decade. Of course, or then again, maybe if we spent close to a trillion dollars building houses for people in Afghanistan and Iraq or Yemen or wherever, then maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't be trying to terrorize us all the time. But I guess we'll never know.
We do know however that the average cost of building a Habitat For Humanity house in say, oh pretty much any country we would consider Third World is less than $3k (US). In India it's less than $2k. And thanks to the map of the world on my shower curtain I know that Afghanistan is pretty close to India. But since I don't know how much it costs to build a Habitat For Humanity house in Afghanistan because "... HFH Afghanistan is currently not hosting any international volunteers. It hopes to welcome Global Village teams when the political situation stabilizes ..." I'm gonna go ahead and use 3k for a little exercise I'd like to call: Math.
First, if we divide the roughly Nine Hundred And Seventy Billion Dollars we've spent beating the s#!t out of and/or liberating Afghanistan and Iraq over the last 9ish years by the roughly Three Thousand Dollars it takes to build someone a decent house in say, oh pretty much and country we consider Third World ... I'm pretty sure you end up with roughly Three Hundred And Twenty Three Million Homes.
Second, if you add the population of Afghanistan (just over 28 Million) and the population of Iraq (just over 30 Million) you get a number somewhere around 60 Million.
Now, even if you assume that Iraq and Afghanistan have a bunch of illegal immigrants running around stealing everyone's job and refusing to fill out their census forms like we do here in the greatest country in the history of countries that celebrate religious freedom since people started lighting women on fire for being witches, we can pretty safely assume that there's definitely not more than 100 Million people in the two countries we've been talking about combined.
Now, if we assume that my math about the amount of houses you could build for almost a Trillion Dollars is correct, you could then do something I like to call: Subtraction. If you did that with the numbers 323M and 100M, you would then know that you'd end up with about Two Hundred And Twenty Three Million extra houses.
Now, anyone with half a brain knows that building 223,000,000 houses that didn't even need to be built is a total waste of money. Thank god we didn't do that.
In related news, there's apparently a big debate going on about what time kids should start school everyday and how having them go to school early was originally all on account of the fact that lots of people used to have farms and kids that went to school (read: BOOOOOOOORING!) would have to work on the farm when they got home after being indoctrinated into the communist party through the teachings of Charles Darwin. Shockingly there are a bunch of lazy communists that think letting their underachieving kids sleep an extra hour in the morning is a faster track to helping them get their fair share of the american pie than actually being a parent and informing their kids that "no honey, it's not appropriate for you to stay in your room all evening with the door closed sending dirty pictures to that future home-wrecker of a dirtbag you wish was your boyfriend" and actually making them do all that homework that was assigned through the grace of all those taxes they pay in order to live in the nice neighborhood that they really can't afford.
In other more related news, Miss Misty Boyce (that's Miss Misty Boyce if you're nasty) will be celebrating the release of the greatest album ever recorded by Misty Boyce in the history of albums where I play bass on two tracks that are incorrectly listed on the liner notes with a show at Mercury Lounge here in cold and rainy NYC on Tuesday, March 3oth at 10pm. You can thank me later for telling you early. And while you may be disappointed to learn that the album doesn't have the song on it where I talk at the same time as she sings, we pretty much always play it live so if you come to the show you'll get to hear me talk while she sings. But that only happens on one of the songs so don't get too excited.
Finally, today's installment of Next Blog takes us into the unique world of metaletalolology:
Here you'll find Sue McNenly. She is not only baffled by people with no opinions but is also apparently proud to read an average of three books per week. I haven't even started to read any of the books on her "hall of fame".
Mwah!
M
P.S. I'd like to thank Mrs. Folta for teaching me how to plus in the 2nd grade.
P.P.S. I'd also like to thank my mom being a such a pain in the ass about getting my homework done before we all sat down to watch All In The Family.
P.P.P.S. I'd also like to thank Carroll O'Connor for doing such a great job of imitating my dad.
P.P.P.P.S. I'd also like to thank someone I have completely forgotten about for leaving me alone for a few weeks.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Lyric Writing 101: Broken English
Hi,
I don't have anything of my own to say because I've just listened to this tune five times in a row:
The Ballad Of Lucy Jordan
The morning sun touched lightly on the eyes of Lucy Jordan
In a white suburban bedroom in a white suburban town
As she lay there 'neath the covers dreaming of a thousand lovers
Till the world turned to orange and the room went spinning round.
At the age of thirty-seven she realised she'd never
Ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair.
So she let the phone keep ringing and she sat there softly singing
Little nursery rhymes she'd memorised in her daddy's easy chair.
Her husband, he's off to work and the kids are off to school,
And there are, oh, so many ways for her to spend the day.
She could clean the house for hours or rearrange the flowers
Or run naked through the shady street screaming all the way.
At the age of thirty-seven she realised she'd never
Ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair
So she let the phone keep ringing as she sat there softly singing
Pretty nursery rhymes she'd memorised in her daddy's easy chair.
The evening sun touched gently on the eyes of Lucy Jordan
On the roof top where she climbed when all the laughter grew too loud
And she bowed and curtsied to the man who reached and offered her his hand,
And he led her down to the long white car that waited past the crowd.
At the age of thirty-seven she knew she'd found forever
As she rode along through Paris with the warm wind in her hair ...
-Marianne Faithfull (from the album Broken English)
Mwah!
M
P.S. The lyric is Shel Silverstein.
P.P.S. Thanks Ann.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Healthcare Marketing 101: The Great Marriage Of Genius And Irony 2010
Hi,
If you don't mind I'm just gonna ignore all the mean spirited things that while technically left unsaid are totally lurking right there on the tip of your tongue because I feel it and because I am very in touch with not only how I feel but also how the people who are supposed to be around me are feeling. But like I said, I'm not gonna respond to any of that because I'm too busy digesting the 3 piece chicken meal from Crown Fried Chicken that used to be on this plate:
And if I start talking about it I might get excited and if I get excited I might just end up wearing my 3 piece chicken meal from Crown Fried Chicken.
Anyway, if you don't mind I've got a few other things on my mind before I go to La Rockwood Hall de Musica to play with Nick Africano at 9pm tonight ...
First off, I didn't watch the Oscars because I had inside information that Avatar wasn't going to win Best Picture and so I decided that it would be better for everyone involved if I just boycotted. And anyway who really needs to sit through all that crap when everyone really knows that the 2nd most interesting thing about last night was the airing of the most ingenious advertisement in the history of advertisements that sell you pharmaceuticals without having to list side affects including dry mouth, nausea or lack of patience for your spousal requirements. Anyway, maybe you missed it because you were with me watching the 2nd best Andy Fitzpatrick show ever over at the Scratcher bar? Anyway, in the event that you missed it because you were at the 2nd best gig in the history of old fashioned music, or in case you never heard of youtube.com, I have done you the favor of locating the advertisement in question which includes the url for a cancer prevention website created and developed by GSK:
In unrelated news about all the money that people stand to make by keeping health care in the US a private enterprise without really having to prove that having a program where everyone in America puts a portion of their taxes towards paying for health care so that everyone in America could get basic health care would lead to long lines and sub par treatment and the death of life as we know it, I bring you someone who I generally make it a point not to write about because I figure that anyone who can almost become the V to the POTUS and a year later attract a whopping twelve hundred people to a convention for a new political party that no one is really sure if she's a part of probably doesn't need me giving her any more html space than she's already getting: Sarah Palin.
But then again, she's someone I would totally like to spend a few hours with a tiara objectifying and furthermore, I am a firm believer in giving props where props are due. So in case you missed it because you've been too busy arguing with your spouse about the proper way to dice red onions and how it's different than dicing white onions, today I'd like to give some props to Mrs. Palin as reported by the Huffington Post for dusting off her well worn copy of Jaged Little Pill and discovering for herself the true meaning of irony. Here's the text of an article that's short enough you won't even need to pop a Ritalin to get to the end of:
"Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin -- who has gone to great lengths to hype the supposed dangers of a big government takeover of American health care -- admitted over the weekend that she used to get her treatment in Canada's single-payer system.
"We used to hustle over the border for health care we received in Canada," Palin said in her first Canadian appearance since stepping down as governor of Alaska. "And I think now, isn't that ironic?"
The irony, one guesses, is that Palin now views Canada's health care system as revolting: with its government-run administration and 'death-panel'-like rationing. Clearly, however, she and her family once found it more alluring than, at the very least, the coverage available in rural Alaska. Up to the age of six, Palin lived in a remote town near the closest Canadian city, Whitehorse.
Officials at several hospitals in that area declined to give out information on patient visits."
In unrelated news:
In related news, I'm reading an article about teachers and how for the last 75 years people in the business of teaching have been forgetting to teach teachers how to teach because it's boring. You can read it too if you want: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/07/magazine/07Teachers-t.html
For today's installment of "Go F#@k Yourself!" I'd like to show off my html chops and direct you to click on the words "Go F#@k Yourself!" if you want to read about today's installment of "Go F#@k Yourself!"
Mwah!
M
P.P.S. "The US has said Israel's authorisation of new building in a Jewish settlement in the West Bank does not violate a recently announced moratorium."
P.P.P.S. Damn, I thought my love life was complicated!
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