This day is totally going to get better. I can feel it. And it totally doesn't matter at all the the recent immigrant from Jupiter behind the counter at this iBook convention, I mean coffee shop, just said "No we don't have that" to the first two things that I asked for. She then added, "Everybody's always asking for veggie cream cheese and smoothies!" Actually that last sentence would be more accurate if I ended it with a question mark. Yes, I know it wasn't a question. And yes, we can assume that you know it wasn't a question. But to the customer service representative in question, it really might have been a question. So, for the sake of accuracy in reporting, let's try that again. And just so you can keep up or not get lost because you're too thick headed to ask for directions, I'm gonna start a new paragraph.
You're welcome.
Anyway, I was talking about all the stuff on the menu that I wanted for breakfast today and how the young lady with the nose ring keeps saying "No we don't have that" to everything I'm asking for. She then added, "Everybody's always asking for veggie cream cheese and smoothies?" Which shouldn't even be a question but that's what it sounded like Isweartogod.
In unrelated news, I'd like to thank long time reader Phil Somethingorother for reminding me that I haven't posted a photo of my breakfast in a while ...
And speaking of things that make you wonder why you didn't just move to Mexico when you lived in LA all those years and it was so close you could touch it in less that 3 hours drive ....
I just got a twitter message from The Big O. saying that he's about to start saying a bunch of things about new cars that are cleaner and more energy efficient while conspicuously simultaneously not saying things like: "My fellow Americans, there is some seriously f#@%ed up s#!t going on down in the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico and since we all pretty much have known for a long time that it was only a matter of time before a group of people who's only goal is to make more money than their friends would end up cutting a corner or two or three and cause some kinda semblance of a natural catastrophe without really having any kinda semblance of a plan for what to do in the event of ... Anyway, today I have some good news. Today, in the spirit of our founding fathers and the dreams of my father and my wife's white mother in law, I invite all Americans to join Michelle and I at your nearest BP gas station and fill'er'up for free! That's right kids! If you thought George Bush was cool when it came to giving away s#!t that is totally gonna come back to bite us all in the ass, I'm super excited to announce that we're all getting free gas for the month of June. On top of that, all your little underperforming fat ass kids can get one free donut and the high fructose corn syrup soft drink of their choice everyday for the month too. And all you have to do is be American! And be white. And a landowner. Wait ... what the? Joseph Biden! What did I tell you about ... "
Mwah!
M
P.P.S. She has songs that remind me of my dad and all the great country music that came out in the mid 70's to early 80's.
P.P.P.S. 8pm.
P.P.P.P.S. And speaking of me ...
P.P.P.P.P.S. Hello me, meet the real me.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Get well soon.
five bonus points for the Megadeth reference.
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