Hi,
So, I have a question.
Let's say we were casual, friendly acquaintances and because my apartment was so small, I asked you to hold onto something for me.
It doesn't really matter what it is, except that it's not exactly small...
Which is of course the reason I can't keep it in my small apartment.
And of course, it's pretty valuable to me...
Which is why I don't wanna just leave it on the curb for the next enterprising New Yorker to pick up and have all to his or herself.
For the sake of argument, let's say the thing I ask you to hold onto is my variety show...
I call you up and say "Hi, I have this variety show called The Old Fashioned Ladies Club, but it's too big for my apartment, can I leave it at your place for a while?"
And you say "Oh yeah? I've heard of The OFLC. That's the variety show where you had that famous sword swallower Heather Holliday at your debut right?"
And I go "Yeah, she was there. It was awesome."
And you say "Dude, I heard about that. And isn't that the same night the guy did a 5 minute theater thing that coulda been a scene straight out of Jackass 3D?"
And I go "Uh huh."
And you say "Yeah man. I love your variety show. I went to the one two weeks ago and there was this great comic, and a dude who freakin' shaved his face while he was juggling bowling pins! Unreal! Is he gonna come back for this week's show?"
And I go "No, but he's super cool. And he's totally gonna come back to do that or some other thing that would never occur to me."
And you say "That's great, cuz I really like that guy. I mean, the Shakespeare guy was actually pretty depressing and I think the guy who sang 110th Street could do a better job memorizing the lyrics in the future, but otherwise, it was a pretty awesome show."
And I go "Thanks dude. I'm really glad you like it. Does that mean you'll let me leave my variety show in your apartment for a while? I mean, you can watch it whenever you want, just don't take it outside cuz it's pretty valuable to me."
And you say "Ummm, yeah I guess that's fine. I mean, I'm sure I could get some use out of it."
And then, let's say that after about a year and a half, you move out of your apartment and you call me to come pick up my variety show...
But I never do.
And then, let's say after another six months, you move again and you call me to pick up my variety show...
But I never do.
And then a few more years pass and you're about to move and you call me to pick up my variety show...
But I never do.
And then maybe you figure that since, all told, about five years have passed since I asked you to hold onto my variety show...
And since you've not only moved my variety show all over Manhattan, to Brooklyn, and back, and back again...
Not to mention the grand total of 17 sets of staircases...
But you've also grown accustomed to...
Eating your meals...
And typing emails...
On top of my variety show...
And thus you kind of sort of figured that I had relinquished ownership of my variety show...
Since for the last five years, I never seemed to care enough to come and get it.
Then, one day, you post a message about how you got a new 1966 Fender Twin Reissue Guitar Amp on facebook...
And when I see that message I think to myself "Hey, I haven't talked to that casually friendly acquaintance for the better part of five years!"
And then I think "I wonder if said person still has my variety show?
And then I say "I'm gonna email them and see if I can get my variety show back!"
Would you give me back my variety show?
You can hand deliver you answer at:
The Old Fashioned Ladies Club
Wenesday, October 27th
Parkside Lounge
317 Houston
11pm
Mwah!
M
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