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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Masculinism 101: Soul Power, It Goes To My Head

Hi,

You'll be impressed to know that I've managed to show some fiscal restraint this morning and have thus eaten my breakfast at home. Actually, I still have a banana left, so I guess I haven't actually eaten my breakfast because I am in fact in the process of eating my breakfast. While eating my breakfast and typing this sentence, I am also listening to The Complete Stax-Volt Singles: 1959-1968. I bring that up just to point out how good I am at multi-tasking. It's kind of like how when on a night that may or may not have been last night some other band's manager says things like: "That was an amazing show. My jaw was on the floor..." I can think to myself: "Who is this guy again? He must lying. That show must've sucked sucked and he's just rubbing it in...." While at the same exact time respond with cordial and expected platitudes such as: "Thanks man, we had a lot of fun ... I'm really looking forward to standing outside smoking cigarettes while whatever the band you manage is called is on stage not getting famous."

Zzzzzzzzz...

Excuse me. I've been drooling again so I need to go into the other room for a second and get a tissue. It'll probably end up being more like 4 minutes because I decided not to smoke in my apartment anymore so I'll probably go out on my fire escape and do that.

Okay, I'm back. And in case you're one of those people that lays around in bed all day, here's a digital representation of what you're missing:

And in case you're one of those people that doesn't take pride in your appearance, here is a digital representation of fashionable socks (available at leading retailers such as H and M and possibly through an online retailer via the wormhole amazon.com which can be accessed via the convenient link on the bottom right margin of this page which incidentally will make me money if you click on it and buy something but don't tell anyone that I told you to do that since really I didn't because really I was just pointing out the obvious and since it's apparently against some kind of an agreement I have with amazon to directly encourage you to click on their advertisements when they are on my page and when said clicking would make both amazon and me money which seems to me to be the entire point of our relationship. Maybe that's why I'm still unmarried.):


In todays episode of "next blog" I present: http://www.nyctaxiphoto.com/
So far today, I have spent about 34 minutes reading the musing of a NYC taxi driver. You might not be interesting in that at all. Perhaps you'd rather be informed on the topic of mustaches of the nineteenth century? In which case you should go visit: http://mustachesofthenineteenthcentury.blogspot.com/

In today's installment of "Wow, you must really be bored with your job" ...
Right now I'm gonna take my vitamin D vitamins and then I'll probably go take a crap after I eat this banana. After that I'll probably learn this new song that Vanessa Bley sent me for this gig we're gonna do over at this venue next week.

Oh, and I know you've been waiting to hear a bunch of witty insight and commentary on the gulf oil spill and how Tony Hayward is secretly kind of giddy that there's a big fat natural born hurricane about to roll in and take a bunch of responsibility off of his shoulders, I am afraid I'll be a disappointment as I've been experiencing writer's block on account of wondering about: "Damn, the protesters in Greece are way better looking than the ones here in America..."


Oh, and the song I'm listening to right now from the Stax collection ends with the refrain:
"I know I shoulda married you, I made a boo boo."

Finally, Katy Perry called me this morning and wanted to know why I wasn't covering her latest foray into something we'll call "How To Be A Role Model For Young Woman So That They Are Not Looked At Solely As Sex Objects" ...

Unfortunately, young people don't actually look up to or emulate famous people so no one will be able to benefit from all the good work Katy and her fiance are doing to combat the image issues so prevalent amongst teens.

In unrelated news, international curvy lingerie model from Paraguay, Larissa Riquelme has traded in the limelight and glamour for something we'll call: "How To Be A Role Model For Young Woman So That They Are Not Looked At Solely As Sex Objects" ...


Mwah!

M

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