Right now I am trying to do about four things at the same time. This is sometimes referred to as multi-tasking. But that isn't accurate since I am trying to do whatever things I am trying to do at the same time but really the only thing I can do simultaneously is type this sentence and half-assedly watch the Men's US Open Finals Match in the adjacent internet window open on my screen. Just now I had to stop typing this paragraph so that I could type something called a "chat" in another program called iChat. When I did that I didn't hear anything that was going on in the tennis match because I was too busy trying to make a joke about tonight's Monday Night Football game and the Jets being from Florida, which of course they are not. Anyway, I guess my point is that I don't think that multi-tasking is a very productive way to spend your time except that it makes me feel less unproductive about watching tennis in the afternoon on a Monday even though I really don't have anywhere else that I'm supposed to be.
BTW, this guy with the extra consonants in his name is totally kicking butt here in the second set. Mr. Nadal looks pretty freaking pissed right now. He just lost another point.
Okay, back to imagining what you're wearing while you read this and if you're gonna wonder about the embedded digital representation of the existential crisis surrounding how much energy was expended to produce a commercial about energy saving cars:
Speaking of energy. At my apartment, we use a lot of florescent light bulbs. One can assume this explains why we can leave about 13 lights on 24 hours a day and still have a $25 per month electric bill. The light to our back yard has been on for about three weeks straight because no one knows where the light switch is. And now it's way too hot to try and unscrew. Thank god there's Nissan.
Okay, hold on... I gotta watch the rest of this set. The Serbian is howling like a madman while he may or may not be mounting an upset over the guy who we can assume would rather be eating tapas right now... Wow. Maybe not. That was a great point. Holy crap! That was awesome. What a serve. Ace!!!! 138 Miles Per Hour?????? But what do you care? By the time you read this, it's not gonna matter. Wait! What? A rain delay? In tennis? What kinda sport is this? What, do Europeans melt in the rain? Booooooooooooring...
In related news, having had so much success the last time she pilfered some design sense from a broken up rock band, Stefani Gaga has managed to fool people into thinking she is the first pop star to enjoy being bathed in meat. Yeah, meat. Like what you used to eat for dinner before you went to college and all your pinko-commie professors started seducing you with THC and stories of the benefits of a vegan diet combined with a monthly colonic.
Exhibit 1964:
Exhibit Germanotta:
And speaking of "All The Time I Spent Today Wondering If I Should Get A Haircut" ... I would totally tell you that this guy has a pretty cool way of keeping one at once entertained and informed a lot more often if he would just lose the goatee. What, does he live in LA or something?
In related news, you should totally watch the end of the long form ANB Picture Card commercial located at the end of an article about a thieving skateboarder, who for the record looks a lot older than 23, that this part of this sentence links to.
Finally, below you will find proof that you can say things that are not on their own funny and still make people laugh, complements of Fred Willard:
Mwah!
M
P.S. You have plans for Friday night...
P.P.S. Passive Aggression Not Included.
No comments:
Post a Comment