As you probably didn't read in between all the time you spend hiding in the bathroom so you don't have to confront your significant other about the affair you're having with the neighbor's kid's biological parent's significant other and the fourth time you watched the opening scene of Before The Devil Knows You're Dead today, this evening's AP report brought to light another setback to the dying art form known as "Mass Protest, Or The Art of Taking It To The Streets". That's right folks! Today, overtime seeking policeman throughout the nation were disappointed that an apparently "loosely organized campaign on the internet" did not in fact motivate people to any such actions as would require them to stand around looking like total badasses like they did at the last protest I went to which you can see a clip of if you click pretty much on any of the last 12 or so words of this sentence. What? Yeah, I know, it's 13 words. That's why I said 12 or so. I mean, duh. You think I don't know what I'm writing here? What? Yes, even the time I wrote "there" when the context called for "their". Prove it? I just did. I mean, the only way for you to know I didn't know would be if I were lying. And then you'd still have to listen to me because the fact that you're reading this clearly illustrates that no one else in our circle of friends even talks to you anymore on account of the fact that they don't know how to tell you that you're life is going nowhere and now I'm all you have left. So there.
Anyway, before I was interrupted, I was talking about how interesting it was that no one who uses the internet protested the new and improved full body scanners at the airport and how I've been trying to figure out why the "loosely organized campaign on the internet" didn't become a more focussed enterprise? I mean, I totally think that everyone working at the TSA wants a weird X-Ray photo of my naked body. Because, I mean, it's obviously so hard to find pictures of naked people these days. I bet if I went to http://exgf.com/ I would never find a photo of a naked girl that may or may not be somebody's ex-girlfriend. And if I happened to like naked people that have the same chromosomes as me, I bet I would never find any photos by making the following google search: gay male porn. Or, like a certain someone in the first paragraph, I'm sure that no one just opts to stick with their netflix account so as not to feel like a total creep every time he clears his browser history.
(Editor's Note: I use the "masculine" because, well, let's be honest...)
Alas, all of this is to say that I am somewhat relieved to think that my Thanksgiving travels will not be derailed by the ensuant chaos of people who think their civil rights are being violated.
Oh, and speaking of things I do with the Stage Manager of The Old Fashioned Ladies Club, I sure hope they like to watch basketball in Minnesota! And, yeah, you should totally come to The OFLC next Wednesday December 1st. There you'll get a glimpse into what makes a girl who spent 73,423 childhood hours learning the ASL for her favorite Bette Middler song tick. Along the way, we'll explore the insubordination of Rosa Parks, celebrate World AIDs Day, and otherwise wonder why anyone could possibly be interested in golf.
Mwah!
M
P.S. Happy Turkey.
P.P.P.S. In case you're new, you can just click the sentence above for the aforementioned link.
P.P.P.P.S. Gun rights sure are cool huh?
P.P.P.P.P.S. Oh... Speaking of Air Traffic Control!
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Mother Feather is in the studio next week.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Cock A Doodle Dooooooo!
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