Hi,
2. Eva Cassidy: This cover is from a woman who has the same name as my sister. She's pretty cool. Even though for the last oh 18 years, we hardly see each other. We still really feel like we know each other. Isn't it funny how that happens with people you knew when you were a little kid? And btw, this version of Imagine is a real snore-fest. She should get a gig opening for _____ at ________ on a Friday night on Stage #_. I bet it would sound so beautiful.
In case you haven't been keeping up with mtv.com, you may not know that today is the day someone named John Lennon died. From what I understand, because he was killed under a surprise attack, he was actually something called "assassinated", by way of several gunshots. One can presume that the pedestrian understanding of "assassination" involving political motivations does not apply because as I just read on trusted news source Wikipedia, Mr. Chapman well explained that his issues with Mr. Lennon had to do with a perceived phoniness regarding material wealth on the part of Mr. Lennon and not because he probably could have gotten a bunch of people to vote for Jimmy Carter back in 1979 but instead allowed some guy named Reagan to become the best tax cutting president in the history of presidents before the one we have now. No, apparently Mr. Chapman was upset because John said he didn't believe in The Beatles ten years prior.
Anyway, since my target demographic of readers earns upwards of 7.2 million dollars per year, I know that you must be jumping for joy that your little tax break has just been extended for two more years. All the while what can only be explained away as a colossal mistake that I'm sure all of our overqualified and underpaid congressional representatives will work overtime tonight to fix, families that earn less than $40,000 per year will actually end up paying more in taxes than they did last year. Let's be clear. These poor sonsabitches did not get a tax increase. It's just the way things happened to work out on Monday night when The Big O. was busy flossing his teeth with Mitch McConnell's foreskin. Clearly The Great Appeaser was distracted. I mean, let's not forget that he's got a lot on his mind. How could he possibly be expected to remember something as simple as "All Of The Policies That People Thought They Were Voting For".
What's that? Oh, no actually it is not okay to say that a person coulda shoula woulda known to really look at all of the details in his campaign platforms and Senatorial voting record and thus have known that speeches where Barry said things like... "In reaffirming the greatness of our nation we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted, for those that prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things -- some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor -- who have carried us up the long rugged path towards prosperity and freedom..." was really all a bunch of something my dad would have called "bulls#!t". Because the "men and women obscure in their labor -- who have carried us up the long rugged path towards prosperity and freedom..." that he was talking about in the above quoted inauguration speech don't have time to parse through all of the other stuff. Instead, they vote with an expectation that you will not be lying to them in the speech they watched after a long day at work, carrying us along that aforementioned "...long rugged path towards prosperity and freedom." To those people, it just kinda maybe seems like people that make a lot of money already have a lot of money. To those people, it just kinda maybe seems like funny man Steve Martin actually wasn't joking when he said: "If you've got a dollar and you spend twenty-nine cents on a loaf of bread, you've got seventy-nine cents left. But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend twenty-nine cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand." Although, maybe he kinda was? I mean, he's got a lot of money right? Anyway, could you imagine what it would be like if you were one of those people who only had 71 cents left after you bought the cheapest loaf of bread on earth and then in some act of cruel irony the guy you voted for made a deal that caused your taxes to, in effect, get raised just so he could keep his $400,000 a year job that he got in part because you donated the money you coulda spent on lottery tickets to his application process? Wow. I bet that would SUCK! Good thing you don't have to imagine that...
Oh, never mind.
Anyway, like I was saying, today is the day that mtv.com posted what they consider to be "The Five Best Covers From The Past 10 Years" of John Lennon's "Imagine". Since you're too lazy to copy and paste "mtv.com" into your browser window thing and find them yourself, I'm gonna let you imagine that you're actually not lazy and do something called "embed" them here for your annotation reading pleasure .
1. Neil Young: This one is cool because I wish that Neil Young was my uncle. Not that I don't have cool uncles. My Uncle Tony is pretty hilarious. I've been playing with his comb-over since I was adopted.
2. Eva Cassidy: This cover is from a woman who has the same name as my sister. She's pretty cool. Even though for the last oh 18 years, we hardly see each other. We still really feel like we know each other. Isn't it funny how that happens with people you knew when you were a little kid? And btw, this version of Imagine is a real snore-fest. She should get a gig opening for _____ at ________ on a Friday night on Stage #_. I bet it would sound so beautiful.
3. This version starts playing once you finish watching a commercial. Which is almost as annoying as the way the guy who wrote that one cool song sings it. Having said that, I bet it would be kinda cool to hear this version in concert. Bands like them only sound good loud. But my roommates are home and I can't bear the embarrassment of anyone knowing that I was actually listening to A Perfect Circle covering Imagine. Wow. This really sucks.
4. Up next we have the award for "The Last Thing I Ever Expected To Be Listening To Today". I got 17 seconds in. Tell me how far you get okay?
5. Finally, we are at number 5 on the list of the 5 versions of Imagine that mtv.com posted today. This version is better than yours.
Finally, thanks to my good friends over at the HuffPost, I don't have to use as much imagination today.
Mwah!
M
P.P.S. Yes, you can bring all your friends too.
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